How to destroy an evil Broccoli.
What you need to know.
Throughout the ages, humanity has been fascinated by the wonderful vegetable called broccoli. Even though no-one could spell it correctly, it was still a hit in the primative society. They got so obsessed, that they began to speak to the broccoli. And pray to the broccoli. And WORSHIP THE BROCCOLI! They began using sorcery, combined with the worship of the broccoli, to foretell the future. They wanted the broccoli alive. They wanted it to move. They wanted it TO SPEAK! So finaly, when lightning struck it at the same time as water from the fountain of youth was being poured on it, BAM! it was alive. It was considered a god, and was the king of society for many years. Then, it was angered, by a squash named " ". Yes, it didn't have a name. The king (broccoli) tried to talk to the dead squash and it didn't answer. This made the broccoli angry, so he gathered his broccoli army and turned on the entire primative society. However, after the worldwide flood, all records of this incedent were lost, or, at least we thought they were......
So, a few broccoli survivors hid in an underwater cave, that had air in it, like an air pocket. They reproduced, and spread out through the whole world. They are living among us. Some, in our stomachs, but some, are still out there. On the farms, in the produce section of our grocery stores. So never, no, no, wait. ALWAYS be on the look out, for little red eyes peering at you from inside your broccoli......
How to kill the broccoli.
If you are unforunate enough to encounter a live broccoli, what ever you do. DO NOT hit it with a knife. It will cut in half, and double your problems, because, it will turn into 2 broccoli when you cut it in half. To kill it, first, lure it into a blender with its favorite food........ LED! Once it is in the blender, chop it up. Then, quikly pour in the following ingredients: 1/4 squash, 2 pints bleach, 1/6 lbs spinach, and, to assure that it dies, just a little bit of cotton! Then, chop it all up together in the blender. Then season it with salt, pepper, and salsa. Then, mix it with fertilizer and take it outside. Then, take the reciept from all the ingredients that you bought, and burn it. After that, put the ashes in the mix. Then, pour it all into a hole. Then spit in it. Once thjis is done, pour in sand, gravel, and dirt to fill in the hole. Then, build a buildidng on top of the hole, and call it doorknob. Then, go to the top floor of doorknob, and drink aplle cider. You have now killed and evil broccoli!
